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This Faustian Flesh (2020 Hindsight Mix)

by All Hallow's Evil

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1.
Do you really believe that things work out in the end or do you find it fun just to pretend that in some strange way you’ll learn to fly right before the ground comes crashing by? They say tomorrow’s another day so leave your troubles here and walk your dreams away If you follow your heart you won’t be led astray but oh, how the heart will betray... So you think that you’re broken now (and) This is as bad as it gets Well, in truth you’ve got a long way down You ain’t seen broken yet So you thought that you could fly through the clouds and you would never be weighed down by the faith you carry on your shoulder and the hollow sound of it tipping over? You’re stepping forward but you’re moving back the grace of God all that you lack When you tire of that what will you do? It only takes a second to change your view When things aren’t going your way it’s time for a new path to be laid So follow me... So rip your heart out of your chest, ‘cause at this point it’s for the best As for what you build out of the rest, it can’t be worse than that old mess Just think how far that you can go and all the things you’ll come to know I’ll show you things you dare not dream the pleasures of the flesh, closer than they seem
2.
It’s only temporary All this will subside All your troubles self-contained in every tear you cry By now you know that’s all a lie Too simple to be real Some things cut too deep Some wounds never heal Gather up your broken self and fix it once again Though try I will, I’m human still and broken in the end I’m not sure who I am but I know where I’ve been And from where I stood before I want something more How much can you take of the sound it makes when your heart breaks? I know that you can hear me, but don’t think you understand I need to leave this place behind anyway I can I’d sell my soul, but it’s been used beaten, battered, broken, bruised But take it, if it will make the cost, ‘cause now I’m completely fucking lost Why are you content with this? Think of all the things we miss There’s so much more that we should know So many places we should go Why lay in the gutter to stare at the stars? We should be more than what we are But I am only human, so no matter what I gave At the end of the day someone still has to save me I used to know my limits, but that was long before I was only human, but not anymore
3.
We all know those wings can’t fly So take that halo off your head It never really suited you Let’s try some horns instead How does it fit? How does it feel? Need a little more time behind the wheel? Well, you know where to find me Let me know when we have a deal So the human experience bored you? Fucked you and ignored you? It’s a common complaint, happens more than you think But there’s a cure for that and I know just the thing How could you be more than you are? You are more than you’ll ever know The whole world is a stage and you’re the star of the show But when you’ve bored of that what will you do? If you follow me, I’ll show you something new... There’s a line to cross Where a path is lost But something new begins If at that point you take my hand You can’t go home again It’s just as simple as that No, you won’t be coming back It’s just as easy as you want it to be to rid yourself of this human disease You won’t feel anything at all This is how all angels fall...
4.
There’s something different about today Slightly stranger in the same old way Nothing hurts like it should Nothing feels like it could But isn’t that what I wanted? A heart that never breaks One last tear that you’ll never have to make No more hopes and dreams Everything is what it seems No more risk to take ‘cause everything is what you make of it I feel so free Nothing can ever get me Now I feel so free then why am I so empty? Is this not what you thought it would be? I thought that you couldn’t wait to see how the balance would sway with your heart run astray Did you think there was another way? You know it goes “ask and you’ll shall receive” and now you’re saying you believe that You’re worse off than you were before I thought you wanted something more...
5.
If you were given the choice, would you stay for the ride? Or do you think we should run and hide? I may not be perfect, but say what you will No one goes anywhere just standing still You know that feeling when it’s finally done and it turns out the journey was all the fun And how you never see that coming ‘til you’re at the end and it’s too damn late to start again So when you find what you came to see Remember, when you get what you want, you may find what you need Hearts break and bodies shake This isn’t a race to see how much you can take And I know life is a war, but there’s something more So don’t go thinking no one’s been there before You can always run away, but I’ll be right here If you’ll let me stay Now just look in the mirror and say it’s okay, then at the end of the day rip the veneer away Things are different after 12 am and that sinking feeling’s sneaking up again But those same things are different now and this time I’m not sinking down I’d say I love you, but it’s not like before and I’d say I miss it, but I don’t anymore Because roads twist and paths appear but sometimes anything’s better than just standing still
6.
There are things you can’t take back There are places you can never leave There are things you don’t forget There are places that you shouldn’t be ...but what’s the fun in that? I may not know the way today, but the journey is through once it’s shown to you And if I didn’t look for answers, what else would I do? There are some things you won’t leave behind There are some things you refuse to find All may be damaged that stands before your God But nothing’s beautiful until it’s flawed Don’t miss a bridge ‘til it starts burning Can’t fight the tide ‘til it starts turning I’ll never be more than what I am I’m broken, but I’m learning Now at the end of the road, I’m beginning to find It’s not where you go, it’s what you’ve left behind and the scars don’t mean a thing right now it’s the stories that make them mine ‘Cause not everything is in plain sight and not a goddamn thing’s in black and white You’re the one not screaming You tell me if I’m all right Do you know what it means when all you’ve loved is a lie and everything around you is starting to die? Just enjoy it and go along for the ride It’s another day just passing by Now every bridge is fucking burning and every tide is fucking turning What a great day to be alive! I’m broken, but I’m learning...
7.
There are no happy endings That needn’t be said The problem with illusions being that they’re only in your head So when you feel you’ve come to terms With the things left in your wake There’s only one more place to go One more path to take... So now I’m going down to the graveyard I’m gonna lay where I belong But I’m gonna leave my troubles here so you won’t miss me while I’m gone So keep your bullshit rhetorics and your bleeding heart attacks ‘cause this time I’m not waking up and I’m never coming back...

about

This Faustian Flesh is the best All Hallow’s Evil album.

And I’m reasonably sure that’s not just nostalgia speaking, because my life sucked back when I was making this.

This Faustian Flesh came out in 2006, the 9th release in the All Hallow’s Evil oeuvre, preceded by 4 full lengths and 4 EPs. The early All Hallow’s Evil albums are angry and mean in a way that’s sometimes interesting and sometimes cringe inducing, but they feel to me today almost like they were made by a different person. This is the first All Hallow’s Evil album that feels like it was made by some version of the person I am today. A version who had little to no idea how to work any of the musical equipment he’d cobbled together.

While I think This Faustian Flesh is the best All Hallow’s Evil album, but I’ve come to understand how the original sound can be off-putting--buzzsaw guitars aren’t for everyone. So since I found myself with some extra downtime this year, I thought I’d crawl through some old hard drives and give Faust some 2020 hindsight.

All the performances here are as they were before, though some of the midi tracks are triggering new samples, some of the guitars are re-amped, and I actually know how to use a compressor now. Everything here has been meticulously remixed/remastered to land a little easier on modern ears, while still maintaining some of the rough edges that I think made the original work so well.

But even if you’re not interested in a newly cleaned and restored version of the best song I’ve ever written (“Completely Fucking Lost”), perhaps I can interest you in a commentary track where I discuss how I brought an audience member to the verge of angry tears at one of the few All Hallow’s Evil live shows. Or maybe you’d like to hear more about how Bugs Bunny is my fashion icon? Well, if you hit that BUY button, that commentary track will be yours! And what the hell, I’ll throw some guitar tabs (pdf AND Guitar Pro 7) in too.

I think of This Faustian Flesh as both the final statement in what All Hallow’s Evil was and the beginning of what All Hallow’s Evil would become. Honestly, I could have changed this name of the band with this album or after this album, but it’s real hard to come up with band names. Plus, all my favorite bands kept their name when they changed sounds—Paradise Lost, Ulver, Tiamat, etc—so why shouldn’t I? What is no budget bedroom producing if not some elaborate form of musical LARPing?

Much as I imagine it’s fun to pretend you’re a wizard or whatever goes on in LARPing—I’m an indoor cat, so none of that for me, thank you—it’s been a lot of fun making a deluxe reissue of an album that sold like 25 copies when it was first released. Here's hoping I eventually get to do the Live Faust 4D experience.


2020 Hindsight Artwork by Jay Gironimi and Rebecca Wrynn

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released September 4, 2020

Jay G - Everything

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All Hallow's Evil Groton, Connecticut

All Hallow's Evil embodies the synthesis of medication and man, as the man behind All Hallow's Evil is mostly medication. Rumors say that Jay Gironimi has actually been dead for 5 years and this is just gas escaping the body.

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